Guest Column: Three Movies You Need To See By UnKured



After Dustin Boltjes of Skeletonwitch — our newest columnist — contributed a column on must-see horror flicks, we decided to open the topic up to the members of other bands. Why? Well, in addition to music and literature, we’re huge movie buffs and feel maybe your life could benefit from a big screen broadening.

So here for you now is a new column from the members of UnKured.

Here is a list of what we consider to be cinematic gold. Whether it’s actually awesome or if it’s the wurst thing since German sausage puns…we love them. They give us stories to tell and inspire us to make our own. So that comes into our music to. A bad horror movie that’s so bad you like it might be grindcore. Or an epic like “Lord of the Rings” might be progressive metal.

“Thankskilling” (Ben Stanton-Bass)
Ok, so one of my favorite movies of all time would have to be “Thankskilling.” Absolutely one of the funniest, nonsensical, brain cell-killing movies ever to be made. I literally lost so many brain cells I couldn’t function properly for the entire week after. I was drug tested by my work, my parents thought I needed therapy, but it was very much worth it. I love it dearly but if you’re not into movies about homicidal turkey’s and really retarded college kids you probably won’t like this, but assuming you’re not a terrorist you should enjoy it.

“Samurai Cop” (Cody Knarr-Guitars/Vocals)
“Samurai Cop” is simultaneously the best movie and the worst movie you’ll ever watch. This movie has everything: Intense fight sequences that only a middle school child suffering from chicken pox could think of, a heart touching love story that seems more like an abduction and later a rape, and of course someones arm getting ripped off. The plot is Samurai and his Token black friend who is the best side-kick anyone could ask for teaming up to stop an underground drug ring. This movie is generic, it has a budget of pretty much 0, the unintentional comedy and poor quality make it almost unwatchable by the high standards of the average movie watcher, but who cares? This movie kicks ass.

“Lord of the Rings Trilogy” (Adam Green-Drums)
I’ll just say the “Lord of the Rings Trilogy.” I love these movies because they’re inspiring. Not in a run about and chop a bunch of creatures up sort of way but that it gets you thinking: We are all capable of great things, some of us just don’t know it until the opportunity is presented.

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