Insane Clown Posse: Christians In Face Paint

Christians?

How’s this for the ultimate “Fuck you?” The Insane Clown Posse’s members are full-on Christians and have been dropping in subliminal messages about the man upstairs in their songs for years. And the Insane Clown Posse fans are just too fucking dumb to pick up on it. Amazing. AMAZING!

According to a new piece of investigative journalism, Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope, the rap duo known as Insane Clown Posse, are not only Christian, but evangelical. “They’ve only been pretending to be brutal and sadistic to trick their fans into believing in God,” says the article. “They released a song, ‘Thy Unveiling,’ that spelt out the revelation beyond all doubt: “Fuck it, we got to tell/ All secrets will now be told/ No more hidden messages/…Truth is we follow GOD!!!”

Dude, this is to amazing for words. Fucking Juggalos. “While some fans claimed they’d actually had an inkling, having deciphered some of the hidden messages in several songs, others said they felt deeply betrayed and outraged: they’d been innocently enjoying all those songs about chopping people up and shooting women, and it was Christian rock?”

AMAZING! The article then quotes Violent J as telling a newspaper in New Jersey that “you have to speak their language. You have to interest them, gain their trust, talk to them and show you’re one of them. You’re a person from the street and you speak of your experiences. Then at the end you can tell them: God has helped me.”

You need to read the full piece. Seriously. This journalist from the U.K. went to interview the band, and got gems like this: ‘A giraffe is a fucking miracle. It has a dinosaur-like neck. It’s yellow. Yeah, technically an elephant is not a miracle. Technically. They’ve been here for hundreds of years…’

‘Thousands,’ murmurs Shaggy.

‘Have you ever stood next to an elephant, my friend?’ asks Violent J. ‘A fucking elephant is a miracle. If people can’t see a fucking miracle in a fucking elephant, then life must suck for them, because an elephant is a fucking miracle. So is a giraffe.’

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