It’s 2012, And Still, No Reason To Attend Warped Tour

The only reason to go to Warped: Drunk chicks


I won’t be attending Warped Tour. No way, no how.

So far, the bill is pretty fucking beat. And each week they roll out the newest additions to the lineup, and I just shrug and think, “What time is it?”

The latest additions to Warped include Impending Doom, Blessthefall, Machine Gun Kelly, A Loss For Words, Man Overboard, Stepdad and Super Water Sympathy.

Wow. It’s so underwhelming, I can’t even breathe. I just passed out from loss of oxygen.

Every Time I Die, Chelsea Grin, Memphis May Fire, The Silver Comet, Sleeping With Sirens, Bayside, Vampires Everywhere!, I Fight Dragons, Polar Bear Club, and Tomorrows Bad Seeds.

The only reason to attend Warped is the drunk, easy chicks in bikinis who’ll be there.

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