Jordison Says He Didn’t Quit Slipknot

JoeyJoey

Joey

Then why didn’t he say that in his first statement about being out of the band?

Joey Jordison pisses me off. First he leaves Slipknot, and issues a statement to that effect. Now, he’s saying he didn’t quit?

You confuse me, midget man.

“I would like to start the New Year by addressing the recent rumors and speculation regarding my departure from Slipknot,” says Jordison’s new statement.

“I want to make it very clear that I DID NOT QUIT SLIPKNOT. This band has been my life for the last 18 years, and I would never abandon it, or my fans. This news has shocked and blindsided me as much as it has all of you.”

So were you fired? Can we expect a third statement next month about what actually happened, Joseph?

“While there is much I would like to say, I must remain silent to further details at this time. I would like to thank you all for your unwavering love and support, and wish everyone a very happy and healthy New Year.”

In related news, ex-Decapitated drummer Kerim “Krimh” Lechner has uploaded two videos of himself performing Slipknot songs and apparently wants to be the band’s new kitman.

“There is no official audition going on but I want to give it a shot just in case the band is searching for a new drummer. I have always liked this band and their music. They influenced me quite a lot in my early years of drumming,” says Lechner.

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