Jos. Von Wienerhaus’ Wiener Of The Week: Bret Michaels

Poison frontman called out for making music

Bret MichaelsBret Michaels

Bret Michaels

It’s been a while since I wrote anything here. I started a new job two months ago and have been working close to 50 hours a week. I can only be responsible in so many aspects of my life. I’ll try to make these more regular though.

I’ll start this Wiener of the Week off by saying that I like Poison, and, well, glam on the (w)hole. They’ve got some fun tunes and its generally a good time. I’ll start the rest of the column by saying that Bret Michaels is a wiener. The Rock of Love thing was entertaining for a few episodes, but overall pretty pathetic. I don’t blame a guy for trying to make some extra money before hair metal really had a resurgence with these summer tours.

Where Bandana Michaels needs to stop being in front of a camera is in music videos. Music videos don’t come out for old songs, which means that Michaels is continuing to make music. I’ve listened to that horrid single “You Know You Want It” more times than I care to admit, but only out of the sheer hilarity of the song. Bret’s newest song is “A Beautiful Soul” that sounds like a rap gospel ballad sung by a white guy who’s from Pennsylvania. Oh, wait…

It must suck to be a creative person who’s tank has been on empty for decades now. I mean, creativity in Poison is even up for debate with C.C.’s old band claiming they wrote most of Poison’s songs and Poison stole them. Whatever.

This music video would be so much better if credits were rolling over it at the end of a Lifetime movie. Now you’re probably thinking, “Jos., why would you be watching Lifetime anyway?” The answer is that I wouldn’t, which means I would never have the misfortune of accidentally watching this video.

Why don’t you go pay attention to your kids instead of writing more music, Bret? That’s why you’re the Wiener of the Week.

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