Kiss Headlining Rock USA; Release Line Of Rubbers

If you see this girls…RUN!

I don’t know about you, but I buy condoms for their reliability. Not getting my girl prematurely pregnant is extremely important to me. So, I usually buy a brand that — well, I don’t know — has been established.

A tried and true scumbag manufacturer I can trust.

Something tells me nine months from now, a lot of dumb kids are going to be born. That’s because Kiss is releasing its own line of prophylactics soon. Sorry, but there’s no way I’m trusting my dick to Kiss.

That’s what they look like. Now ladies, correct me if I’m wrong but if a dude strapped a picture of Gene Simmons onto his cock, would you let him enter or call him a “dork” and find the next warm bed to crawl into?

By the way, a Paul Stanley version of the Kiss condoms will be released later this year.

Also, Kiss will be headlining the Rock USA festival on July 16 at Ford Festival Park in Oshkosh, Wisconsin. The lineup also features Korn, Cheap Trick, Buckcherry, Lynyrd Skynyrd, fucking Journey, fucking Puddle of Crud, and fuck Dough-try, that bald douche from “American Idol” and his band.

Sounds like a killer time!

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