There’s this site called Rocksound that asks rockers to write letters that they’d want delivered to their younger selves.
It’s both a brilliant and useless endeavor. People seem to like it though, so who am I to judge?
The latest sucker to write one of these letters is Korn’s Brian “Head” Welch, who you may recall found Jesus a few years back and quit the band.
Here’s some of that letter: “This may hurt a little, but you need to hear it, so brace yourself. You’re gonna grow up to be one complicated dude!”
Complicated? Not the word I would’ve chosen, but that’s fine.
“You’ll be extremely happy on one hand, and extremely dark and depressed on the other. There will be a constant war between both extremes until the day you breakthrough to become the person you were meant to be.”
Which, I guess, is Head?
“Only then will life make sense to you, let me explain. In the future, you’re going to be given two cups to drink. In the first cup, the drink will taste very sweet. You will get everything you ever wanted and more. All of your dreams will come true. You’ll be happy and goofy and you’ll make many people laugh a lot. You’ll love life and wonder how and why such success is happening to little ol’ you. A wild, obnoxious punk rock chick will come into your life and you’ll fall in love and start a family.”
This is where it gets boastful: “Money will be no object because you will sell millions and millions of albums, and your band will be named after a vegetable. Yes, I said vegetable, but you’ll spell it wrong so it will work, trust me! At times, you will be around some of the most famous musicians of all time — from Madonna, to Paul McCartney, to Eminem, to Metallica.
“But remember, this is only the sweet cup, there will be another cup you will have to drink. In the second cup, the drink will taste very sour and bitter. You will become someone that you hate. You will encounter temptations that you will have no power to overcome. You will fall into a pit of despair and won’t be able to climb out on your own.
“You will wish for death, but you will be too fearful to actually take your own life.”
“You will turn into someone that you look down on by becoming nothing but a low-life drug addict. You’ll move from one drug to another, addicted and serving every drug as if they are all your masters. You will abuse yourself, your lovers and enter into a self hatred that you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy. You will be rich, but your money won’t be able to help you.”
But then, you’ll realize being solo sucks, and you’ll reconcile with Korn.
The letter mentions nothing about Jesus, finding him, or where Head found him.
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