Lamb Of God’s Randy Blythe Arrested For Manslaughter

Free Randy

What the fuck?

What I meant was…what in the fuck? I would have gotten you this news sooner, had I not been en route to — and at — the Death To All gig in New York. Fuck me. Figures…I finally get to go to a show and Randy Blythe gets thrown in the clink, accused of sending a man to a premature grave.

It seems Lamb Of God frontman Randy Blythe has been detained by authorities in Prague on charges of manslaughter. This is no joke.

Randy might come away from this experience with a sweet story for “Locked Up Abroad.” I would not want to be in prison in Prague. I bet you the food blows; the bread probably tastes like a polar bear’s asshole.

According to reports, Blythe was taken into custody June 28 for his involvement in a 2010 incident I was hitherto unaware of.

Seems two years ago, Bythe allegedly got into a physical altercation at a May 24, 2010, show — where else, in Prague — when a fan tried to attack him on stage.

That dude Blythe beat up later died from his injuries, allegedly.

Randy’s arrest forced the band to cancel a show that was to go down tonight in Prague.

Lamb Of God’s official Twitter has now been updated with the hashtag “#FreeRandyBlythe.”

That is a cause I can get behind.

We’re pulling for you Randy. This is a fucked up situation. But if the allegations are true, it does — and I hate to say it — sound like involuntary manslaughter.

But after what happened to Dimebag, what the fuck did you expect Randy to do?

MetalSucks were able to contact a band spokesperson this evening who said Blythe has been “wrongly accused” and that his legal team was working to get him “fully exonerated.”

Listen: I don’t know how the law works in Prague. But this seems — by all accounts — totally fucking bad. This could inconvenience Randy for a spell…maybe even cause some show cancellations. Ultimately, I am sure Randy will be released, it’s just a question of when and if the right palms are greased.

I have sent an email to Chris Adler, and am awaiting a response; I don’t know what the time difference is.

I can tell you that if you haven’t, you should at the very least read the translated article from the Prague newspaper, because shit is hysterical. Take this gem: “Two years ago, 24 May 2010, is held the first Lamb Of God concert in Prague club Abaton, where, according to information news tragic incident happened.”

That’s hilarious.

I am just trying to add some levity to the proceedings here.

Gun Shy Assassin calls on the government of Prague to release Randy Blythe, or we will be forced to violently fingerbang Miss Czech Republic 2012 Tereza Chlebovská where she poos.

It’s not like we want to do that. But this means war.

By the way, someone has already shamelessly decided to cash in on these ridiculous charges.

I’m just pissed I didn’t think of it first.

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