It’s that time of year again…time to get disappointed!
The brown-nose fest that is Revolver Golden Gods Awards — not to be confused with Metal Hammer’s Golden Gods Awards — is set.
The awards will be handed out April 23, and feature on-stage performances by Guns N’ Roses, Korn, Zakk Wylde, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, The Pretty Reckless, and gay-bashers A Day To Remember.
What a metal fucking lineup, folks!
On the awards end, Guns N’ Roses frontman Axl Rose will receive the Ronnie James Dio Lifetime Achievement award at the ceremony and Joan Jett will be honored with the Golden God Award.
That’s fucking metal, folks. FUCKING. METAL.
Here’s the noms, who are fucking laughable, for the most part:
Album Of The Year:
Avenged Sevenfold’s Hail To The King
Black Sabbath’s 13
Five Finger Death Punch’s The Wrong Side Of Heaven And The Righteous Side Of Hell, Volume 1 And 2
Korn’s The Paradigm Shift
Queens Of The Stone Age’s …Like Clockwork
Volbeat’s Outlaw Gentlemen & Shady Ladies
Jeremy McKinnon (A Day To Remember)
M. Shadows (Avenged Sevenfold)
Ivan Moody (Five Finger Death Punch)
Papa Emeritus II (Ghost B.C.)
Jonathan Davis (Korn)
Josh Homme (Queens Of The Stone Age)
Dimebag Darrell Best Guitarist(s):
Jerry Cantrell (Alice In Chains)
Synyster Gates & Zacky Vengeance (Avenged Sevenfold)
Tony Iommi (Black Sabbath)
John Petrucci (Dream Theater)
Zoltan Bathory & Jason Hook (Five Finger Death Punch)
Munky & Head (Korn)
Paul Gray Best Bassist:
Johnny Christ (Avenged Sevenfold)
Geezer Butler (Black Sabbath)
Chris Kael (Five Finger Death Punch)
Rex Brown (Kill Devil Hill)
Emma Anzai (Sick Puppies)
Best Drummer presented by Razor & Tie:
Arin Ilejay (Avenged Sevenfold)
Brad Wilk (Black Sabbath)
Vinnie Appice (Kill Devil Hill)
Matt Halpern (Periphery)
Chris Adler (Protest The Hero)
Mike Portnoy (The Winery Dogs)
Best Live Band:
The Dillinger Escape Plan
Lamb Of God
Song Of The Year presented by Randall Amplifiers:
Alice In Chains – “Hollow”
Avenged Sevenfold – “Hail To The King”
Bring Me The Horizon – “Shadow Moses”
Five Finger Death Punch – “Lift Me Up”
Of Mice & Men – “You’re Not Alone”
The Pretty Reckless – “Going To Hell”
Best Film & Video presented by Eagle Rock Entertainment:
Behemoth – “Blow Your Trumpets Gabriel”
Huntress – “Zenith”
Lamb Of God – “As The Palaces Burn”
Metallica – “Through The Never”
Motionless In White – “America”
Pierce The Veil – “This Is A Wasteland”
Best New Talent presented by Victory Records:
Scar The Martyr
Twelve Foot Ninja
Comeback Of The Year:
Nine Inch Nails
Queens Of The Stone Age
Most Metal Athlete:
Tony Alva (skateboarder)
Grant Balfour (MLB)
Josh Barnett (mixed martial artist, UFC)
Stephen Curry (Golden State Warriors, NBA)
Derek Garland (Metal Mulisha, motocross)
Tuukka Rask (Boston Bruins, NHL)
Most Dedicated Fans:
A Day To Remember
Five Finger Death Punch
Of Mice & Men
The Pretty Reckless
So, dude…first of all, QOTSA never went anywhere, so why are they nominated for best comeback?
Crosses is an electronic band, not a metal band. We cover them because they’re associated with Chino Moreno from the Deftones, but they’re not metal. Or even rock.
I’d suggest you go vote here if I believed it made any kind of a difference. These awards are probably pre-determined, seeing as everything this mag does is based on ad revenue.
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