Lou Reed Chats About Lulu; Says He Knew It Would Work

Metallouca

That dude must be fucking deaf. Lou Reed thinks that nonsense he’s produced with Metallica worked? It sounds like an overly ambitious pile of elephant shit.

Ben Sisario of The New York Times recently spoke with Lou and Lars Ulrich about Metallouca’s forthcoming LP Lulu — in stores November 1. Did Lou always know this would work?

“Always thought it was going to work. I sent the guys examples of the idea: ‘Here’s this thing I want to do.’ I did a version of it for Bob Wilson at the Berliner Ensemble Theater,” says Lou. “There’s this idea I’ve had almost forever of something I wanted to do, but it required a certain ability I didn’t have at the time for singing, and a certain kind of sophisticated rock muscle in back of it that wouldn’t truncate it. So I sent it to Lars and James [Hetfield] and said, ‘What do you think? Could we take a crack at this? Because in my head it works and I know we can do this.’ And they came right back saying, ‘Absolutely,’ and that was that. I never doubted for a second. No one would go to the trouble of failing.”

Again, I want whatever drugs Metallouca are taking, because I want to live in a delusional world, where everything I touch turns to fucking gold and people will devour whatever the fuck I throw at them.

Watch — this album, as bad as it is, will still enter the Top 200 Chart in the Top 5, at least, and will end up getting numerous Grammy nominations, and I can hear Lars Ulrich’s acceptance speech right now.

“If you had told me two years ago I’d be getting a Grammy for making a record with the infamous Lou Reed, I would have called you bat-poop nuts. I guess I’m bat-poop nuts, huh?,” is what I imagine he might say. Watch — it’ll happen. The Grammys always honor unlistenable tripe.

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