Manowar Is Coming — Manowar Is Coming!

Manowar

Damn, man. Manowar will be playing a single concert in the United States this year — and it’ll be at the Agora in Cleveland, Ohio, of all places. Now, I finally have a fucking reason to visit Ohio. Ever since the first time I watched that flick “Gummo,” I have tried to avoid Ohio at all costs. But for the cock-flexing, sweat-drenched, totally-straight metal of Manowar, I may just have to make an exception.

Manowar will be playing Ohio on March 12. So far, the band has booked just this one date. But who knows? They may start scheduling a tour around this single show, and then, I won’t even have to go to Ohio. “After six years, the wait for true metal in America is over!,” the band says in a statement. Yeah, it’s hard to imagine Manowar haven’t played a gig here in six years,

Manowar will be playing its classic debut album, 1982’s Battle Hymns, in its entirety during the band’s headlining performance on March 27 at the O2 Academy in Birmingham, England. That would be a rad show to catch.

“A couple of people were wanting to know what’s going on with the new album, Hammer Of The Gods,” says bassist Joey DeMaio in a statement. “Well, the truth is this: [original Manowar drummer] Donnie Hamzik is officially back in the band, and that changed everything for us. So all the songs that were written have been completely fucking thrown out, completely ditched — gone, never to be heard from again. The writing has changed because Donnie’s back in the band and he’s burning like a mad motherfucking demon on drums. So this album is gonna basically sound like I told you before — like somebody put gasoline on your fucking balls and lit it. So it’ll be worth the fucking wait, ‘cause when it comes, it’s coming back.”

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