Metallica’s 3D Movie Hitting Screens In August

Metallica, not in 3D

So, I don’t know.

I get that people love Metallica and many may never get the chance to see the band play, because tickets cost an arm, leg, and third born. And I know it’s “cool” to go see the metal movies when they come out, like the pressure I felt when that Anvil movie came out and everyone, in conversation, would ask, “Have you seen the Anvil movie yet? You have GOT to see the Anvil movie?”

Metallica in 3D? I don’t know that even a single fiber of my being is excited about that.

Fuck, do I sound old, huh?

Bottom line: “Metallica Through The Never” is the name of the film. It hits screens worldwide on August 9.

Mostly, I don’t want to see this because of what the press release on Metallica’s site says. The 3D flick isn’t just the concerts the band played in ‘Couver. It’s much more.

It’s a film “starring members of the iconic rock band and Dane DeHaan (Chronicle, The Amazing Spider-Man 2). DeHaan plays a young band crew member who is sent out on an urgent mission while the band is playing a rousing live set in front of a sold-out crowd and unexpectedly finds his world turned completely upside down.”

Eww.

Yeah, no thanks.

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