Which makes it too old for me to fuck.
Yes, kids. Most of you weren’t even alive in 1983, when Metallica’s Kill ‘Em All was unleashed on an unsuspecting world.
An instant classic, the album gave us such gems as “Hit The Lights,” “Seek and Destroy,” and of course, “Whiplash.”
It would prove to be Dave Mustaine’s last collaboration with Metallica, who unceremoniously canned his ass mere months before.
I couldn’t even imagine being in my teens when that shit dropped. I was just six, and still only listening to whatever it was my dad was into. Can you imagine what kind of reaction this album stirred in dudes who were into Maiden and Sabbath and Priest? They must’ve shit themselves.
Alas, 30 years later, Metallica are one of the biggest bands in the world and haven’t released anything worthwhile in a king’s age.
So does that mean in, like, 20 years, we can expect Killswitch and Lamb of God will release shit?
Sylosis will suck in 30 years?
Gojira? Watain? They’ll all be mere shells of their former, much younger selves?
Of course it doesn’t. Let’s just hope it doesn’t.
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