Metallica’s Ulrich Bashes “Metal Community”


Small drummer Lars Ulrich — of huge band Metallica — has spoken to Maxim Online, and basically said he likes to “poke” the metal community, whatever that means.

“I’m Danish, and Danish people sometimes like to stick their finger in somebody else’s shoulder and push them a bit. I sometimes think that the metal community is just so fucking serious and up its own ass. Once in a while it needs a little poke, and I don’t mind being that guy,” he says.

I don’t even know what this man is talking about.

“Nobody else seems to do it,” he says. “Sometimes I read, ‘Oh, Lars Ulrich, what an asshole,’ or, ‘Lars Ulrich can’t play drums.’ I laugh at all of that. People sit there and say these awful things in the chat forums. I think it’s really funny when someone sits there and says something that he’s typed with his dick, or some 12-year-old who hasn’t figured out how to jerk off yet is sitting there typing insults about somebody he’s never met. The whole thing’s hilarious.”

How did Lars know I type with my dick? That’s so weird. He must have infiltrated the camera in my laptop somehow.

I hope he doesn’t release the footage. How embarrassing would that be?

I think Lars is just bashing us all back. After all, we have been busting his balls for well over a decade now. Baby men can’t take such criticism.

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