Nickelback Frontman To Marry Avril Lavigne

Avril Lavigne

What the fuck, man?

How in the hell did this happen?

I know they’re both Canadian, but…Chad Kroeger is the single cheesiest man on the planet.

This, I can tell you from experience. He’s a cheese ball who exudes everything you hate about the rock star aesthete.

Conversely, Avril Lavigne’s a hot little piece of ass with horrible taste in men. She’s also ten years his junior. Fucking bastard.

Finally, we have clear proof there is no God. The couple — who have been together since February, when they co-wrote a song for her forthcoming album — are to be wed.

Yes, Avril and Chad are engaged, according to reports. I’d say congrats, but it’ll last two years, tops. And I’m not happy for them.

It will be Kroeger’s first trip down the aisle, and the second marriage for Lavigne, who split from Sum 41 frontman Deryck Whibley in 2009 and then spent a while boning that himbo Brody Jenner.

This is just so wrong. Chad Kroeger does not deserve ass that fine. No way. I mean, she’s annoying and her face is kind of busted. But that body is banging, dude.

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