Of Mice & Men Drop New Singer For Old Singer

Nice haircut, chappyWhen this news first hit Lambgoat the other day, I shrugged because I don’t give a flying fuck about this band Of Mice & Men. But then, something changed. I was on this site IsAnyoneUp.com, and there was a picture on there of some lame-ass grabbing his dong. That awesome site claims it’s Of Mice & Men’s new old singer Austin Carlile…touching his tool. For some reason, all these band dudes are flashing their junk on this site. Do chicks actually get off looking at dick?

Real cool, bra. The sad thing is, that dude right there probably has snatch to spare. He probably got a ton of chicks on the road, in every town this band passed through. That’s because some chicks are just jaw-dropping dumb and believe anything a dude with a combover tells them.

Anyways, so there was the picture, but also, the old singer, Jerry Roush, took to Twitter and threw an honest-to-goodness bitch-fit after being dumped unceremoniously.

“Hey everyone…after sacrificing a year out of my life to keep a band afloat and touring after they kicked out the original singer, I just got a call informing me that they are bringing him back and my services were no longer needed,” Roush Tweeted. “They didn’t offer me a reason. I think it’s a little odd seeing how they all talked epic amounts of shit on him the entire time.

Oh, but he didn’t stop there. “Hey its not who’s better or whatever…that “band,” if you can call them that, have soooo many internal problems it’s a joke. They aren’t real. I’ve already got some shit up my sleeve that’s a fresh look as opposed to a generic metalcore band. Thanks for all the support!”

Of course, Of Mice & Men put a PR swing on things, in a press release that focused on the reunion with dick-grabber.

“Of Mice & Men have parted ways with vocalist Jerry Roush and have announced that they will reunite with original front man Austin Carlile. The reformed lineup will be heading into the studio in early January to record the follow up to their Rise Records self-titled debut. Guitarist Alan Ashby, who had been working with Austin on a new project during his time apart from OM&M, has also officially joined the band. Shayley Bourget will now play bass and Alan will assume his position at guitar. Phil Manansala and Tino Arteaga remain on guitar and drums, respectively.” 

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