Pantera Hits Bastardized Into Lullabies

Dude…

OK, this lullaby thing’s gone far enough. This aggression will not stand, dude.

How did Phil Anselmo let this happen? You know the guys had to sign off on Lullaby Versions of Pantera, which means Phil signed off on it too!

I’d expect Vinnie Paul to green-light this nonsense but Phil…many demerits, dude.

Starting today, you can purchase Twinkle Twinkle Little Rock Star’s decimation of your favorite Pantera tunes.

There’s even a lullaby version of “5 Minutes Alone!”

“Metal continues to be one of our most popular and requested genres” says Paul Modiano of Roma Music Group. “More than any other genre it’s music that little ears aren’t quite ready for, so parents seem to appreciate this option. When you look at the metal landscape, Pantera ranks among the giants. We are proud to add this to our metal offerings alongside Slayer, Iron Maiden, Avenged Sevenfold, Metallica and Dream Theater.”

Our metal offerings. What’s next? Cannibal Corpse? Will there be a Cannibal Corpse lullaby record?

When will this end? Enough already. Metalheads now have more than enough “offerings” to choose from for lullaby music for their newborns. Stop.

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