Here at Gun Shy Assassin, we are always trying to bring you unique columns from some of our favorite bands. We are proud now to announce that Patrick Shannon of All Else Failed has joined the site with his new column, “Hilarity Ensues.” Check it out — I have a feeling future installments are going to be even more awesome.
After many years of attempting to craft an image of an artiste that couldn’t care less about what’s going on in the tangled world of the interweb, I think it’s time for me to come clean: I spend most of my computer time searching “All Else Failed.”
Or sometimes “All Else Failed band,” “All Else Failed review” or “All Else Failed sucks nards.” In a perfect world, I would live in the secure bubble I have carved out for myself and focus on the artistic endeavors that are still in front of me. Unfortunately, I am cursed with the human condition of vanity and can’t help reading (or re-reading) positive reviews of Archetype from 2002.
Strangely, I enjoy reading the negative ones even more (perhaps I agree with them?). This is how I came upon Gun Shy Assassin.
After my cohorts and I briefly resuscitated the carcass that is (was?) All Else Failed for a new EP and a one-off appearance at This Is Hardcore in Philadelphia this past August, I again found myself compelled to scour the internet for any morsel of affirmation, or preferably condemnation, of our, and therefore my own, very existence.
The reviews this time around were more on the positive side of things, but one in particular caught my eye: Gun Shy Assassin.
A very slick website run by a guy with an impressive resume that actually knew of us from back in the day? Didn’t think I’d ever see the day. I reached out to Chris and he confirmed that he, too, is withering away, watching time slip by like the sands of an hourglass — a dinosaur that cringes every time he is forced to acknowledge the crushing truth that the first digit in his age has changed to a 3.
He said he recalled seeing us in the past, but the memories were in deteriorating black and white film now accompanied by subtitles and rag time music. We spoke briefly of whipper snappers and such before I cut to the chase and asked if I could continue to work on my long-stalled writing career by contributing to his zine, errr, Web site.
He gave me a “go for it” and here we are. My guess is most of these entries will feature one of two things: me waxing nostalgic on the often hilarious, often depressing, always entertaining history of All Else Failed (as if anyone other than Chris and I and, like, two bros in Nevada really give a shit), and me lamenting the current success of a new band that does music that some older band did way better.
Either way, I hope you enjoy what I write. Thanks for reading.
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