Phil Varone Enters The Realm Of Sex Toys; Selling Mold Of His Pecker

Something for the ladies

Drummer Phil Varone went on “Celebrity Rehab” for sex addiction. Now, he’s hanging with porn stars and striking deals with dildo makers. That show obviously helps people.

This week, we learned that California Exotic Novelties — “a major, global manufacturer of adult novelties,” according to a press release — has partnered with former Skid Row and Saigon Kick drummer Phil Varone to create a line of sex toys, including a realistic dildo molded from Varone’s thick, veiny manmeat.

The dildo drops into stores — and soon after, into twats — starting in early 2012.

“This is the first time a novelty manufacturer has molded a mainstream rock star or produced a sex toy line bearing a rock star’s image. We’re proud to add this to our long list of ‘firsts’ for California Exotic Novelties, and we’re thrilled to team up with Phil,” said Susan Colvin, president and CEO of California Exotic Novelties.

Susan sounds like a fun gal. What’s up, slut?

“I’ve always been open to all types of sexual experiences,” said Varone. Even gay stuff, dude? “Extending my personal brand into a line of sex toys is something I’ve always wanted to do. It fits with everything I’ve done as a public figure and I’m honored to team up with California Exotic Novelties to make it happen. The company’s stellar reputation, along with Ms. Colvin’s commitment to excellence, makes this a dream come true.”

Who else thinks Phil banged this Colvin broad? And by the way, who ever figured putting out a fuck toy molded from his dong was something Phil’s “always wanted to do.” I’ve always wanted to pitch a perfect game. I’ve always wanted to drive the Autobahn. I guess I have different wishes.

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