Phil Varone To Flash His Thickskin; Sebastian Bach Is Outraged

Phil Varone

Hey Phil. Just so you know, most of Playgirl’s readership is male. Yes, men. Women don’t buy magazines to look at hairy butts! But gay dudes do. So when that issue of Playgirl you recently shed your threads for hits stands in December, your monkey business is going to be seen mostly by dudes. Men…grown-ass men. They’ll be reaching into their shorts and pulling out their schlongs in a darkened room somewhere, they’ll be cuffing the putty to 20 pages of nude pictures of you.

I hope this wasn’t a decision you made in haste.

According to Sebastian Bach’s Twitter page, Phil’s dick show is “further proof that the name ‘Skid Row’ has completely lost all credibility, cool, accuracy and is now devoid of all meaning in every way.”

That’s a little harsh, Sebastian. By the way, that happened long ago. When you did that stint on Broadway, maybe. Or when you were on The Gilmore Girls. Or when you did “Celebrity Rap Superstar.”

“I have never shared a stage or studio with this person in my life,” the Tweet continued. “I ask you ‘reunion’ fans: [you] expect me to ‘go back’… to THIS? Really? Sorry, it’s just not gonna happen.”

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