Poison’s Bret Michaels Admits He’s A Bullshit Artist

Bret and Miley’s mom

That’s the last time I believe anything that comes out of Bret Michaels’ mouth. I feel just like the thousands of wilted vaginas that have been left in the Poison frontman’s wake…scorned by all the lies that came fumbling out of Bret’s sore-encrusted lips. “I’ll call you tomorrow, baby.” “You’re the only girl for me, sweet pea.” “I’ve been tested a dozen times.” “No Miley — I did not fuck your mom.”

Now, Bret Michaels is admitting that recent claim he made about Poison and Motley Crue joining forces in 2011 for a tour commemorating the bands’ 25th and 30th anniversaries, respectively…yeah, that was pure fucking bullshit, too. There will be no joint tour. Fucking liar. Why the fuck would he lie about something like this? WHY? What’s the deal, Bret? Explain yourself. Why would you lie?

Bret admitted to People magazine that the tour “is simply a pipe dream” and that it “would be an incredible night of rock for the fans” of both bands. What a fucking pathetic douche! I mean, what the fuck is going on with Bret. Did that brain hemorrhage fuck with his mental functioning?

Eric Sherman, Motley’s manager, claims Bret’s just “trying to will” a tour that doesn’t exist, and adds that fans of the Crue can vote on Motley.com for who they would like to see on the bill. “Motley will listen to the fans, not to guys trying to book a tour through the media,” Sherman quipped.

Bret’s response to Tommy Lee’s “NO!” and Vince Neil’s denial that the tour was happening? “Oh well, you can’t blame me for trying to put together what I thought would be a great tour for the fans.” Fuck you, Bret.

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