Poison’s Bret Michaels Has Eye Issues

Bret with Joy Behar

The dude has a corneal ulcer…commonly known among swingers as “whore eye” — most often, the result of a whore’s infected vaginal excrement squirting its way into your eye.

Nah, I’m just kidding…but it was caused by an infection.

What is a corneal ulcer? It’s an eyesore and it is infectious, according to Wikipedia…a bastion of correct medical info. It involves “disruption of its epithelial layer with involvement of the corneal stroma. It is a common condition in humans particularly in the tropics and the agrarian societies. In developing countries, Children afflicted by Vitamin A deficiency are at high risk for corneal ulcer and may become blind in both eyes, which may persist lifelong.”

Bret won’t let the eyesore get in his way of touring this spring and summer, nor will it stop him from trying to get more publicity for his bullshit career.

“I’ve learned to laugh through a lot of hard times,” Michaels said in a recent interview. “It helps me to stay positive. I also owe my guardian angel a heavy amount of overtime.”

Bret “got a shot in [his] eye” the other day, he added. I’m sure he’s used to getting shots for all kinds of shit, so no biggie getting a needle in the eye. “They numb your eye completely. They don’t even have a remedy for what’s wrong with my eye. They’re using this crazy stuff in my eye that they invented.”

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