For me, there’s no joy in telling some band they’re terrible. I don’t get off — as some have suggested — on bashing “talented people who’re just trying to do their thing.” I was raised to be honest. Transparent. Perhaps that’s why I got into journalism. If I can’t be honest, I can’t be me, folks.
Get ready for some honesty.
Programmable Animal is a band from Illinois that contacted us collectively a while back looking for coverage.
“We were hoping to be featured on GunShyAssassin,” the band writes, describing its style as “industrial metal with ambient sounds.”
For starters, I’ve never been a fan of “industrial metal.” I mean, sure…I used to rock Ministry’s Psalm 69 and Fear Factory’s Demanufacture back in the day when coloring your hair blue and sporting JNCOs was still considered acceptable. But, all in all, industrial — like folk metal — is one of my least favorite genres.
That said, I took the time and listened to some of Programmable Animal’s stuff, and there’s plenty of industrial and loads of sporadically and ill-placed ambient elements. But there’s not much metal going on here, kids. Not as far as I can tell.
This band confuses me. Programmable Animal reminds me of a lot of some writers I know. These guys and gals think they’re great writers, but their copy never sings. Fundamentally, they’re only capable of conveying information, but not in an entertaining, humorous, engaging or otherwise poetic manner.
Programmable Animal can play their instruments. The question is, do they make them sing. As far as I can tell, this band has no sense of melody. They’re trying so hard to be something different that the end results seem discombobulated.
Also, Programmable Animal’s singer should quit and join a Korn cover band, because I’ve never heard someone sound so much like Jonathan Davis without trying.
See for yourself. I wish I could say this band’s going places and has a sound people will latch on to, but that would be bullshit.
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