Revolting Cocks Touring Guitarist Sues NBA Star Durant

The original Durantula

Now, this is a fucking baseless lawsuit if ever I’ve read one.

TMZ.com claims obscure Chicago rocker Mark Durante — who played guitar for Revolting Cocks on their 1990 U.S. tour and their 1991 European tour, and appeared on the band’s beloved Beers, Steers And Queers Remixes EP — has sued internationally-known basketball player Kevin Durant.

The suit claims the NBA star who plays for the Oklahoma City Thunder stole his nickname “Durantula” and “is misleading consumers looking for his recordings and T-shirts.”

Dude…who the fuck is looking for your recordings and T-shirts? Let’s be honest here. This lawsuit doesn’t stand a chance

Durante — who is a former member of Chicago’s Waco Brothers — says he adopted the name “Durantula” for his “on-stage and performance persona” and uses that shit to market “music, recordings, apparel, t-shirts, guitars, and related merchandise.”

“Due to a licensing and promotional campaign marketing which has flooded the marketplace with references to Kevin Durant as Durantula, Defendants have nearly consumed Plaintiff Mark Durante’s valuable, hard-earned identity which he has been cultivating and developing for nearly two decades,” the suit says.

Fuck that, man. Did he have the nickname trademarked? If not, this suit goes nowhere.

“I’m certainly not a rich old rock star that has plenty of money nothing to worry about,” Durante told the Chicago Tribune. “I have to support myself and my family.”

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