Scar The Martyr Holding Singer Auditions

Public submissions to singer search being requested



Frankly, I can’t even remember what this band sounds like, but yo — Scar The Martyr need a new singer, and you or I could be it.

That’s right, folks. Most people don’t know I have a voice. That’s ‘cause I haven’t been in any bands you’d even know about, because they happened years ago and never made a blip mostly due to laziness.

Not sure if they want a screamer or a clean vocalist, but I could handle either.

Not that I’d audition. Why would I wanna be in a band and get chicks?

That’s my observation from the New England Metal and Hardcore Festival from this past weekend: If a chick is not with a dude at a show like that, she’ll only talk to you if you’re in one of the bands or have a big bag of coke on you.

I have but one big bag and it only carries testicles.

Anyways, Scar The Martyr — Joey Jordison of Slipknot fame’s new band — need a singer. They’re accepting submissions from Joe Q. Public.

“As recently mentioned, Scar The Martyr is looking for a new vocalist. Before we make a final decision, we have decided to open up submissions to the public. If you are interested, email your tryout video to [email protected] We look forward to seeing and hearing your submissions.”

The group recently parted ways with vocalist Henry Derek Bonner, who claims he quit. They say he was shitcanned.

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