Sepultura To Release Cavalera-Free LP Through Nuclear Blast

Andreas “Right in Tha” Kisser

The ink has just about dried on Sepultura’s new deal with Nuclear Blast. Yes kids, you read that right. Nuclear Blast. Here’s what the label had to say in a statement about the move.

“Nuclear Blast is proud to announce the signing of legends Sepultura [Edit: Are they still “legends” if Max Cavalera isn’t in the band anymore? Does Andreas Kisser’s presence in the fold earn Sep that tag, “legend?” That’s more a question than a statement]!” Then, Kisser checked in with his own canned statement, which, as you read it, do so with a futuristic robot voice…in your head, that is: “We are happy to be at Nuclear Blast, especially in the year we are celebrating 25 years of history, and it is a great honor for us to join forces with the most metal label in the world [Edit: End All Life? Satanic Skinhead Productions?]. I am sure this will be a great journey for both of us and we are already working on new material while on the road. Let’s go for another 25 years!”

Imagine that! Kisser, a 66-year-old salt-and-peppered longhair, still up there on that stage, noodling away with some retooled version of Sepultura. That would just rule, wouldn’t it? It’s times like this I wish I had a fucking time machine!

So there you have it. New Cavalera-less Sepultura coming in 2011. Again, time machine. Fuck!!!

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