Slash’s Wife Says She Didn’t Kick Fat Porn Chick

Samantha Slopes

The picture in this post is of Samantha Slopes, the plus-sized porn “model” who claims Slash’s wife kicked her in her gunt backstage during Ozzy Osbourne’s February 1 concert in Universal City, California.

Wow. Plus-sized is a fucking understatement. Don’t get me wrong — I have no problem with girls who may have a little meat on their bones. Meat is good. Like my old friend Matt always said, “I dig fat chicks — they put out.” Which brings us back to Samantha Slopes. That chick doesn’t just have meat on her bones, she has whole cows.

TMZ.com caught up with Slash’s wife in LAX recently, and Perla offered the following: “No I didn’t. I should have. I didn’t kick her.” Then, she made some comment about the chick’s stomach having its own zip code or something, and continued on her way.

But she claims she should have. That is awesome. Why is that? Because according to law enforcement officials, Perla allegedly kicked Slopes in the stomach after she noticed the manatee talking to her husband, the one and only Slash.

While Slopes refused medical attention, she did report the incident to police, who are investigating the matter. Imagine that — our valuable tax dollars being spent to see if a guitarist’s wife kicked some tubby-ass porn chick in her gunt. Only in America, people.

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