Spyder Baby Singer Sentenced For Neglecting Farm Animals

Steven Banch and his hottie attorney Pam Johnson

This is probably the weirdest story I have read in a long while.

Reports claim Steven Banch Jr. — a member of Spyder Baby, the Michigan-based industrial metal band with the worst name in the world — was sentenced Monday (December 5) to probation and community service for allegedly failing to bury a dead cow and neglecting his farm animals. And by neglecting, we do not mean copulating with. But then again, who knows? Farm animals don’t talk.

Banch’s case drew media attention when neighbors complained of rotting carcasses all over his Oakland County farm in March.

The rocker was sentenced to 15 months of probation and $1,425 in fines and costs. He was also told to perform community service and ordered to receive some mental health treatment. And he’ll probably have to start burying the dead animals on his property, too.

Banch called the sentencing “a victory for me, because it could have gone completely the other way.”

He said community service is “a good thing. People should do that once a year.” Banch told reporters he plans to move to a dairy farm south of Alpena in January.

Ever consider moving into a studio apartment, dude? Why you gotta live on a farm? What are you up to out there in the fields? ANSWER ME!

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