Tenacious D Wins Metal Grammy

Band wins over Mastodon with fucking Dio cover

Brent and Brann on the red carpetBrent and Brann on the red carpet

Brent and Brann of Mastodon on the Grammys red carpet

Fuck the Grammys in the fucking ear.

Not only couldn’t the fuckers behind America’s lamest awards show actually come up with a list of nominees worth voting for in the Best Hard Rock and Metal Performance” category, they went and let Tenacious D — a joke band — win the prize this year.

Tenacious D. For a song that was originally performed by Ronnie James Dio. From a Rhino tribute to Dio.

Fuck that.

How many great records came out in 2014, man? So many. And yet, the nominating committee for the Grammys can’t delve beyond the major label machine.

Tenacious D, with a cover of a years-old song, beat out the likes of Mastodon, Slipknot, Motörhead, and Anthrax — also nominated for a Dio cover off that same fucking compilation album.

I’d rather they just flat-out ignored the heavy stuff than insult us annually with laughable nominees (sans Mastodon, whose members won this year when it came to dressing appropriately for tonight’s mockery) before singling out the worst of the lot with a statuette.

The Grammys are such a fucking comedy at this point. A win means nothing unless you’re making pop bullshit, because they generally help sales.

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