The Handshake Murders Is Over, Johnny — OVER!

She never heard of this band either


Well, I guess this band started ten years ago. I never gave them a chance cause their name was dumber than an autistic dog with a deep, lingering head wound.

But yeah, they were a hardcore band and their name was The Handshake Murders, and now they’re done. I’m guessing at least one of you will care.

“Sorry to say that we have broken up,” the band says.

“Thank you to everyone who supported us in any way over the ten plus years of our existence. Thank you again. Our guitar player Brandon (in our latest line-up) went on to start a new band called Bloodworm which lies in the same vein as this band.”

Wait, what? Who? I zoned out there for a minute…because I have a fucking life, and don’t care about bands that were never worth caring about in the first place.

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