The Human Abstract Lose Frontman Travis Richter

I’d give her a good rogering

And the purported reason is going to shock and amaze you.

Apparently, dude is too insecure about his hottie model girlfriend (the pictured chick) to leave her for extended periods of time on tour.

He was too worried some dude who doesn’t tour — like me — was going to slip her the flesh pickle. And I would. Nice and slow like, while creepily moaning “Cubs win, Cubs win” over and over again.

So, The Human Abstract and Travis Richter have gone their separate ways. Metal Insider claims that San Diego singer Ryan Devlin will be filling in behind the mike for the time being.

According to Lambgoat, they received a letter “several weeks ago” saying Richter was quitting the band. Try as they might, they couldn’t “easily corroborate any of that information,” so they held off.

I would have run with that shit in two shakes of a lamb’s tail, interestingly. Because I’m no wuss. A band member forwards you an email and that’s not good enough for you?

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