Toxic Holocaust Album Coming This Halloween

RIP Gia

Well, two days before Halloween, anyways.

That’s October 29, for those of you who, like me, suck at math.

But before I get into it too deeply with the Toxic Holocaust record, let me stop for a second to honor two women who died recently, and one who is very much alive.

Before my divorce, I would watch “The Bachelor” with the trollop I married. I am not ashamed. See, I tell you people everything!

One season, I lusted after one of the contestants…this chick named Gia Allemand. After my divorce, I wanted to go find Gia (she lived in New York) and sweep her off her fucking feet.

I was surprised to learn she committed suicide yesterday. She was so fucking adorable…it’s sad when hot babes leave us, and so young.

Also, I just found out a chick I used to spank it to passed. The chick who played the sister on “That ‘70s Show,” Lisa Robin Kelly. She overdosed overnight while sleeping.

I discovered today that she apparently had substance abuse issues, likely related to the fact that everyone else from that show went on to greater things while she languished in obscurity.

She went from looking like this to looking like this.

Shame.

But, with every loss there is a new discovery. Today, I also discovered my next ex-wife, Paulina Gretzky, daughter of “The Great One.” Man, is she smokin’ hot! If you don’t believe me, Google her. In the words of the infamous Rodney Dangerfield, “Boy, would I like to tame her shrew.”

Anyways, so Relapse Records on October 29 will release the new Toxic Holocaust album, Chemistry Of Consciousness. See the cover art here.

That album was overseen by Converge’s Kurt Ballou, who really has become one of the most sought after producers these days.

Additional details on the album are coming.

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