Uproar Festival: Countdown Clock Must Mean Something


But what, oh what, could it mean, pray tell?

Yes, folks — the official Web site for the Rockstar Energy Uproar Festival has a new countdown clock.

My math may be off, but it appears it’s counting down to next week at some point. I’m going to go out on a fucking limb here and guess next week we’ll maybe get an announcement on the tour’s routing, or the tour’s dates or maybe some sort of information on the bill.

The Uproar Festival is basically Mayhem for dudecore cock rock bands. The kind of shit dudes with trucks listen to when they work their lats at the gym.

I have nothing against working out. I’d lift weights myself. But those fuckers are so fucking heavy, man. I might hurt my back.

ThePRP claims — likely because they’ve been approached about ads for the fest — that it has heard “rumors” about the bands that’ll be playing this year’s Uproar.

The site says the bands will include: Shinedown, Godsmack, Staind, Buckcherry, P.O.D., and Papa Roach.

I’d rather swallow molten steel than have to see any of those bands play live.

And before I start getting hate, let me beat you comment trolls to the punch: You can not arrange that, so don’t say anything like, “That could be arranged fag boy.”

Pre-emptive self-denigration: It’s what’s for dinner.

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