Van Halen Booked For Rock USA

Van Halen

Let’s hope they actually show up.

Yes, folks — the one and only Van Halen has announced that they’ll be headlining the final night of the Rock USA festival, set to take place July 17 through July 20 at Ford Festival Park in Oshkosh, Wisconsin.

Who else is playing? I am glad you asked that.

Such illustrious, ultra-talented acts like Saliva, Buckcherry, Avenged Sevenfold, and Great White.

Slaughter’s also booked, as is Bret Michaels, Godsmack, Queensrÿche, Jackyl, Chevelle, Sevendust, Ratt and Dokken.

Holy shit, would this lineup have ruled were it 1991.

Alas, it’s 2013. The fact that anyone still listens to Jackyl fucks my mind up on an almost daily basis.

I sometimes watch this show they have on in the states called “Full Throttle Saloon,” which basically depicts rednecks in their natural state: drunk, dumb, and driving heavy, potentially-fatal machinery.

Jackyl figure prominently in the show, which literally confuses me like nothing else.

I understand chicks more than I can understand people listening to Jackyl.

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