Van Halen Disappoint Mechanics The World Over

David Lee Roth

Dude, did you hear that juicy rumor about Van Halen possibly reforming with Diamond David Lee Roth — failed talk radio host, dedicated paramedic, and the man behind some of the sexiest, Governor cuff-worthy videos of the 1980s — to record an album of new material? Well, that shit’s about as real as Fred Durst’s merkin.

My good pals at nabbed an exclusive interview with Eddie Van Halen’s old lady and spokesperson Janie Van Halen, and wouldn’t you know it, that business about the first new album featuring the DLR lineup since the iconic 1984 being in the bag and headed to stores by year’s end were fiction. All of Long Island is bummed.

“What is going around is exactly that, rumors. I don’t have any updates at this time,” Janie Van Halen said. So, that’s that I guess. I think I’d rather have a new Hagar/Van Halen record. Am I nuts? Truth be told, I was actually a huge fan of DLR’s solo stuff as a kid. Some classic stuff. “Just a Gigolo,” “Yankee Rose.” Classics. The latter always gives me a craving for glazed donuts.

When I heard the rumor, I thought, “Sure. And that junk about the band touring in 2010, from the coffee-coolers of Irving Azoff…that happened. We’re halfway through the year, and no word on those tour dates.” Rumors start, and they’re fun to discuss. But with Van Halen, you just can’t believe anything. I nearly got fired from MTV for once reporting that the band were going to sign up for “Rock Star,” that lame-ass CBS reality show. No shit.


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