Victory Records Signs Another Lame Band

Kissing Candice wear masks when they play…how novel and unique?

Kissing CandiceKissing Candice

Kissing Candice

At least the label is consistent.

Man, this one almost makes me embarrassed I hail from the same salty soil.

Victory Records has inked a deal with Long Island electro-metal outfit Kissing Candice.

The band’s members wear masks, which is nothing if not a gimmick. Bands that rely on gimmicks, including Slipknot, are shite. The gimmick distracts you from the fact that their music is atrocious, like the last girl you got to fuck you.

The band features onetime Dr. Acula keyboardist Joey Simpson.

Be warned: The band’s debut drops sometime next year.

and their debut full-length will be available in 2015.

Says Simpson:

“Kissing Candice is proud to be a part of the Victory Records family and beyond excited to bring the shock back to rock. Our debut album will cement nightmares in your sleep. Stay scary!”

Fuck you.

A signing announcement video follows, and will surely make you wretch:

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