Video: As I Lay Dying’s Tim Lambesis Arraigned In Murder-For-Hire Plot

Tim Lambesis in court

I am enjoying this way too much.

Why, you ask? It isn’t me.

Also, Tim Lambesis has provided the metal world with an amazing crime story here — one that will likely go down in metal lore as one of the most cowardly acts ever committed by a man of such size and stature.

I always say if you want someone dead, kill ‘em yourself. Anything worth doing is worth doing on your own, I feel.

Lambesis is accused of trying to hire a hit man to kill his estranged wife. Prosecutors claim he felt out some of his gym buddies, asking if they knew someone capable of such a thing. Then, the cheap ass gave some cop he thought was a thug $1,000, pictures, gate codes, and convenient times to do the deed — times that would coincide with when he was with his kids, providing him an alibi.

Why is this story great? Because of its hypocritical nature, and because this is probably one of the last people any of us would ever have expected would pull this kind of shit.

Then again, he’s a muscle-bound, weight lifting-obsessed pinhead who looks like an older Julie Kavner. So, it’s not like he’s the smartest dude around.

I am looking forward to the trial. It’ll all come out then and we’ll get to hear the audio tapes investigators claim they have, in which Tim basically says he wants to never see wife again so he can have custody of the adopted kids she claims he neglects.

Lambesis also allegedly cheated on his estranged wife Meggan and told her in August; she filed for divorce a month later.

In other news, the new Austrian Death Machine record is now being eyed for a 2022 release.

View more videos at: http://nbcsandiego.com.

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