Vinnie Paul’s Just Joking Around

Vinnie Paul is funny

You know what would be hilarious? If one of metal’s most revered drummers just sold weird personal items on eBay. Seriously, how fucking funny would that be? Yeah, well, apparently, that’s why former Pantera/Damageplan kitman Vinnie Paul Abbott sold an oven and his first cell phone on the auction site.

In a new interview with Vinnie Paul, Decibel’s J. Bennett asked Abbott about the eBay fixation. “Yeah, that was just comedy, dude,” he says. Now, who is this comedy to, other than Vinnie Paul? Just asking. “Anybody who thinks I’m hurtin’ for money and I did that for any reason other than just for the fun of it is crazy. The oven was sitting out by the side of my house because I replaced it, and a friend of mine, Video Bob, who works for me at my label, said, ‘Why don’t we put it on eBay?’ And it was hilarious how much press coverage it got. The thing didn’t even work, and I wound up getting $1,000 for it. The guy drove down from Seattle in his truck to pick it up, and I autographed it for him. He was on cloud nine, you know? So, it was just something we did for fun. Anybody takes it any other way, they just don’t know me.”

Someone also bought the cell phone. “Oh, that was even funnier. I was cleaning out my house when I found it. It was one of the first cell phones they ever made, and it was the size of a shoe. We were all just laughing at it. And, of course, Video Bob happened to be over again, so he was like, ‘Dude, let’s put it on eBay!’ I think I got about five or six hundred bucks for the damn thing.”

But the “comedy” won’t stop there, folks. Now Vin wants to auction off some toilets.

“Actually, you’ll be the first person I’ve told this to, but I’m seriously thinking about putting my toilets up there. My new house I bought in Vegas, I didn’t like the toilets it came with. They were kinda old-school and small and had those wooden seat caps, so I replaced ‘em all. And now I’ve got three toilets from my house in Vegas that I’m about to throw on eBay. I can’t wait to see the shitstorm that causes!”

There’s no mention of where the money from these auctions if going. I hope its to charity, though. Isn’t Vinnie Paul hysterical? My sides literally hurt from laughing. And my knee is bruised from the slapping I gave it. And that Video Bob guy? He’s comedy gold. Give that dude his own TV show.

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