Voicemail Mike Starr Left For Dealer Surfaces Online

Mike Starr

So, when it comes to celebrity deaths, I think there are three stages of grief, but this is just my opinion. There’s shock. Then there’s mourning. And finally, there’s moving on with your life two days later and reporting on all of the skeletons in that dead celeb’s closet.

We are well into stage three, at this point. TMZ is relentless in its pursuit of Mike Starr news, in the wake of the death of the original bassist for Alice In Chains. They’ve somehow gotten a hold of Mike’s dealer, who gave them the purported “last voicemail” ever left by Starr…until another voicemail surfaces tomorrow.

You can hear that message here [Edit: Followed immediately by a video of some parkour idiot breaking his wrist], if you really want to listen to a doped up dude try to score pot. As you’ll hear, Mike actually starts off the message by saying “Hey, what’s up? It’s Mike Starr…Alice In Chains.” As opposed to the dozens of other Mike Starrs you know.

Why do I think it’s sad that Mike still — years and years after getting booted from the band — associated himself with Alice in Chains? If you’re a drug dealer, and Mike Starr was calling you, I’m sure you’d already know that he was the dude who helped make some of Alice In Chains’ best songs. I’m sure it would have come up before.

At the same time, I’m kind of glad he said it. That means Mike was fucking proud of the work he did with Alice — and rightly so. I mean, let’s face it — if you could only listen to one of Alice in Chains’ studio offerings ever again (no compilations), you’d pick something Starr was on…probably Dirt or Facelift. So even to the very end, that dude — even if just in his distraught mind — was Mike Starr from Alice in Chains.

Anyways, Mike goes on to ask the dude in the message to “call right away,” promising that “you’ll be really excited” and “make some good money on this.” The message ends, saying, “if you could score me an eighth, quarter once, half ounce of bud or whatever, you know, a killer price, come up this way. I need it so bad.”

That dude loved drugs. And that’s so sad to me, especially after seeing Dr. Drew take advantage of him and put him through that total fucking mockery of a fucking reality show that is “Celebrity Rehab.” The show does not work. Let’s just admit that right now. Steven Adler’s going back for a second round. The show is a sham! Notice there’s been no comment from the good doctor.

Come on, Drew — let’s hear it.

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