Warped Tour Adds Terror…But You’re Still Not Going

"Hey cookie, I dropped my pencil""Hey cookie, I dropped my pencil"

“Hey cookie, I dropped my pencil”

This just in — hell has not frozen over, folks, so guess what? You’re still not going to see the fucking Warped Tour this year.

The latest additions to the bill include Terror and a band called I Fight Dragons. Can anyone be on Warped Tour? I guess when you’ve got 200 bands on your blimey bill, the majority of them won’t be tits.

The bill also has added Falling In Reverse, that band fronted by that Ronnie Ratfink dude. Yeah, I’d sooner support seal clubbing than Falling In Reverse.

Also new to the bill are some bands called A Lot Like Birds and Breathe Carolina. You’ve never heard of them and you never will, in all likelihood. ‘Cause you’re not going to Warped Tour this year.

Bands previously announced for the trek include Less Than Jake, Chelsea Grin, Bad Rabbits, Secrets, To The Wind, MC Chris, Enter Shikari, Anberlin, Issues, Cute Is What We Aim For, Survive This!, The Devil Wears Prada, The Color Morale, Nit GriT, Chunk! No, Captain Chunk!, Crown the Empire, The Maine, Volumes, State Champs, the Ready Set, Saves The Day, The Ghost Inside, A Skylit Drive, Beartooth, I The Mighty, Attila, Stray From The Path, Tear Out The Heart, Mayday Parade, The Protomen, Air Dubai, Mixtapes, Plague Vendor, Teenage Bottlerocket and For Today.

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