Well, That Looks Nothing Like Ronnie James Dio

Is that a bludgeoned Steve Tyler?

I’ve been staring at this picture of a so-called Ronnie James Dio statue and I’ve been wondering who it actually looks like, because that shit does not look like Ronnie. It looks more like a fruity Bobby Blitz.

KnuckleBonz will be making 3,000 of these Ronnie James Dio Rock Iconz statues. It’s a limited-edition run, “making these highly collectible,” the company says. Each figure is hand-painted, numbered and includes a certificate of authenticity. This is an officially licensed product, approved and endorsed by Ronnie’s wife and manager Wendy Dio.

Really? Maybe I need glasses or something. Because I really don’t see Ronnie there. It’s kind of nuts too that now, every Ronnie memorial or action figure or parade balloon will have Ronnie throwing the horns. Every fucking one. I get it, I just don’t agree with it.

A portion of all the eight-inch tall figurine’s sales will be donated to the “Stand Up and Shout” Cancer Fund, which was created in honor of Ronnie James Dio.

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