Westboro Baptist Church Announce Plans For Hanneman Funeral Protest

The future

Well, I guess I’m going to jail, kids.

I am going to have to go against my own stance on Kickstarter campaigns to raise money for my legal defense.

Those Kansas-based kooks in the Westboro Baptist Church will be picketing outside the funeral of Slayer guitarist Jeff Hanneman, and announced plans to sing during the protest.

What will they sing? A parody of Ozzy Osbourne’s “Crazy Train” “at full voice.”

Fucking wastes of sperm and eggs, these people are.

“I am sickened and disgusted by the use of ‘Crazy Train’ to promote messages of hate and evil by a ‘church,’” Osbourne said in response to the news.

Here’s the lyrics to the Westboro Baptist Church’s version of “Crazy Train:”

Amazing, that’s how God rolls
Millions of people, drowning in woe
Crazy, it’s much too late
To speak about love, when you brought on is hate
Crying about your feelings, or your sin, no shame

You’re going straight to hell, on a crazy train
You’re going straight to hell, on a crazy train

Let’s go

You listen to preachers, your leaders are fools
You’re raping false prophets, who make their own rules
The base is ascending, to rule and control
The media sells it, and you pay the toll

The station goes deceiving, their torment you in flames
You’re going straight to hell, on a crazy train

We’ve told you your destruction is imminent
You should have listen to our words

Isn’t God’s fury?, That’s forced onto them,
The ruling rebellion, God is made to numb
Crazy, the pride as you well
Your birth will be brutal, he will say what is fair

God is not been sleeping, he’s gonna bring the pain
It’s time for your finally ride on this crazy train

OK, so while they’re all at Jeff’s funeral being dicks, I am going to be outside their church, with a flaming arrow, and I’m firing that fucker straight through the window. I may even toss in a garbage bag filled with old lighters doused in gasoline before I use my bow.

You fuck with this event, and you fuck with every metal head on this fucking planet.

I don’t think these Westboro Baptist cunts know who they’re fucking with.

So, yeah…as soon as details of the funeral become available, I will launch my Kickstarter campaign. For $50, you’ll get a handwritten letter, from me, scratched down from my prison cell.

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