Who Belongs To This Ass?

Every time I watch HBO’s “True Blood,” I find myself asking the same question (usually out loud) during that opening montage with the preachers, the KKK imagery, the river baptisms, the sped-up decaying of a fox, the Redneck in the rocking chair, and the kids with berry-smeared faces: Who is that chick with the ass, because that ass is a fucking STAR?

A different angle of the ass in question

How is this metal? Well, this chick has the kind of tuchus I imagine the likes of Poison got to tap back in the heyday and bands like Avenged Sevenfold are getting to tap now. Furthermore, I argue any show where a dude uses a human head as a puppet (as seen in the second episode of this recent season) is metal. Plus, Dream Theater’s Mike Portnoy is a big fan, and if Mike’s a fan, the show is, by virtue of that fandom, metal.

And yet a third angle…this one, showing she has blonde hair!

So…we need to find out who this girl is. Her dumper’s just too perfect for the rest of her to be heinous. But then again, I know there are such things as butt models, and that generally, butt models are butter faces. I need to see what the rest of her looks like. Does anyone know who she is? Let’s make it our mission to find out.


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