Winds of Plague Blowing Down Wind

Can I be your friend?

Out where I grew up, people name their homes. Its weird. But people do it. On one block (and this is no bullshit…its out in Montauk, New York), there was this house that some pretentious person named “Passing Winds.” I may be remembering it wrong, but it was either that or (someone correct me if they know) “Across the Winds.” They had a nameplate on the house with a fancy font. A year or so after this dude names his house, a dude two doors to the right names his house “Down Wind.”

They’ve been bitter rivals ever since. I only mention this story because, every time I hear the band name Winds of Plague, it reminds me of that street and those houses.

So, Californian deathcore outfit Winds of Plague are on this summer’s RockStar Energy Mayhem tour, which is awesome for a young band whose former keyboardist had a topless pic of her leak. And, while sinewy in a way, they’re not bad as far as boobs go. I wonder if the blonde to the left has a nice rack. That ass, though…shit is foxy!

Wait, no, Kristen Randall’s perky yams have nothing to do with Winds of Plague being on the festival this summer! But yes, being on Mayhem is going to be very good indeed for the Plague. They’re going to play before a whole bunch of kids who’ve never heard them and those kids are going to eat that shit up like its fucking crack-covered pizza.

I love pizza. Its delicious. The best pizza I have ever had is Frankie’s pie from Conca D’Ora. If you’re ever in Sag Harbor, New York, make sure to stop in. Tell ‘em Gun Shy sent ya.

Do you need any extra friends?

Anyways, the band has announced that, after Mayhem, they’ll be heading into the studio with producer Matt Hyde (who has helmed opuses by Hatebreed and Slayer) to get to work on their next Century Media Records release. They’ll probably get that shit out by Thanksgiving, mark my words.

Winds of Plague are good at what they do, and they seem to have some pretty nice fans. Not that I can say I loooove them, but, they’re good at what they do. And their album art is always sick.

“The first three shows on Mayhem [Fest] have been mind blowing,” says Frontman Jonathan Cooke. “It has been nothing but huge turn outs and absolutely insane shows. The Mayhem crowd definitely knows how to fuck shit up.”

And how. I can not wait to see Mayhem when it rolls through my neck of the wape. Who wants to put me on their list. Jon had more to add.

“From Oompa Loompas to Jager girls [Edit: Jager girls…] and everything in between, the Mayhem experience is one of a kind and I strongly suggest a fan of any kind of heavy music to make it out to a show.” And buy a Winds of Plague shirt, just not the one that says “Winds of Fucking Plague” because, well, there’s kids out there on the street, my man. And old people. “We have been pretty busy out here but have managed to continue working on new material and immediately following the tour will enter the studio with Grammy Award-winning producer Matt Hyde to record our third release.”

Let’s hope Winds of Plague gets that Grammy they’ve been wanting for years. By the by, Winds of Plague “acclaimed drumming sensation” [Edit: I love you George] Art Cruz is currently a featured artist in Drum! Magazine’s latest issue, on stands now, He’s also featured in a video on the site, which I embedded on mine. You can see it below. He’s pretty insane at smacking them skins.

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