Wretched, The Browning Back Out Of Soilwork, Loomis Tour

Wretched

Something’s just off in the metal world today, I feel. Things just aren’t kosher anymore. Left is right, up is down. Cats fucking dogs. World’s gone crazy, and I ain’t got time for all that.

But yes, both Wretched and The Browning made like me with a chick, and pulled out of their planned tour with Soilwork, Jeff Loomis and Blackguard.

The tour gets underway in March.

Wretched cite “issues out of our hands” while The Browning — which is the second worst-named band of all time — claim “scheduling conflicts with recording our new album and shooting a new music video” are preventing them from hitting the road.

I think it’s just because the Blackguard don’t use Right Guard, if you know what I’m saying.

I kid. They probably smell like a flower patch, full of newborn infants, open containers of gas, shower-fresh pussy and pizza.

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