Yes, There’s A Band Called Bro Jovi

Bro Jovi

And no, its not a cover band comprised of a bunch of shitty metalcore dudes. Despite the name, Bro Jovi is kind of…acceptable. Fueled — seemingly — by Pabst Blue Ribbon, the dude rock collective [Edit: It would remind you of Clutch, crossed with a harder version of CKY, if that makes any fucking sense] features a bunch of actual metal musicians.

Bro Jovi includes former and current members of Abigail Williams, Aborted, and System Divide. Over on their MySpace page, you can hear three tracks from their forthcoming debut, Songs to Crush Beers to Vol. I : Slippery When Blacked. Its some dirty, cowbell-heavy, filthy fucking rock shit, dude, with venomous, guttural screaming. Its sludgy, and it sounds like it was recorded when all of these dudes were shitfaced.

“We hope [the new tunes] invoke a reaction of wretching, vomiting, twitching uncontrollably, or worse,” the band says in the release. Its nice to see a band with finite, spelled-out goals. I just can’t deal with that name. Its almost as though they’re trying too hard.

To name yourselves after a band — sorta — and then not being an awful cover band version of said group almost defeats the purpose. Is it just that there are no good band names left? Can’t be. And they’re from Ohio. They’re not even from fucking Jersey, and they’ve defiled the Jovi name.

Its not too late to change that band name, fellas.

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