Zak Night From Vampires Everywhere Is Hung Like A Gnat

Vampire must’ve bitten off half of it

You know what band sucks? Vampires Everywhere.

Vampires Everywhere is worse than prison.

They’re shit and sound like shit. I hate that I’m even writing about them right now, because they suck so fucking hard. But this guitarist dude needs to be exposed.

When a dude like guitarist Zak Night of Vampires Everywhere or Andy Williams of Every Time I Die has a package so small it looks like it could fuck a nostril, women the world over need to be warned.

If you need to see Zak’s unedited pics, go here.

Also, chicken hawking like this needs to be exposed, and dudes need to learn they can not snap dick pics if they’re in a band and not have them end up online.

I wonder if those pics were taken on a “big day” for him. You know, guys…those days when the dong just looks and feels bigger flaccid? We all have ‘em. Some days are smaller than others. I had a “big day” the other day, actually. And guess what? I didn’t take a nude picture of myself and send it to some stupid broad!

You assholes need to cut the nude pic shit. Wise up.

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