Zakk Wylde is an eloquent man. He often sums up things perfectly.
Take the time he told one of my former colleagues at MTV News that the murder of Dimebag was, in a word, “gaysuck.”
Yup. Gaysuck. Basically encapsulates the whole matter, doesn’t it?
Well, our pals at Under The Gun have spoken with the Wyldeman — specifically about Tim Lambesis’ trying to hire some dude to off his saintly wife.
“That’s just a massive, massive mess over there,” says Zakk.
See? The man is sage.
“It’s just like any of our friends. If any of our buddies were gonna do something like that, we’d be like, ‘What are you talking about, man?!’ I get it if he’s pissed off, saying, ‘I swear to God I want to rip her fucking head off,’ but that’s okay, you can dump your feelings out, go to the bar and get tanked and spill your guts, but you’re not fucking killing anyone, dude.”
Well, if you’re most people, yeah. But not if you’re Timmy.
“Let’s just chalk it up as a loss. See what happened to OJ [Simpson], so why would you want to go there? She’s gonna get the fucking house, she’s gonna take half the money. Now, as your managers, we’re gonna be booking As I Lay Dying till the fucking cow comes home. The band is doing great, you’re gonna be fine and you just keep moving forward.
“Think about it: one fucking dumb decision like that, and his life is over, dude,” says Zakk. “And the band was doing really well; he had everything to be thankful for. Everything was kicking ass. Yeah, this was a hiccup, it’s a road bump, I get it. I understand him being pissed, but you’re not killing anyone. You can’t go there. Just like a manager says, ‘You can’t be knocking people out in bars.’ That’s why you have security guards. It’s dumb, dumb, stupid shit.
“What a waste,” he continues. “Even if he wasn’t in a band, if he just worked at a construction job, I understand him talking about it. It’s fine and dandy — you can say that all day long — but you’re not getting a fucking gun and blowing her brains out. I understand him getting it out of his system, but like I said, once we get back out of that bar, we move forward. That’s the only way to do it —– you’ve got to move forward.”
And bend forward. Makes it hurt less when that cock’s being shoved up your prison-bait ass.
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